you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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