so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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