Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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