yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
