porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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