We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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