She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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