A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
