You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
