HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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