Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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