I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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