i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just want nice things and good sex
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
