How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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