You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I wish there were birth control emojis
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
