I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
