It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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