Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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