On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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