Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
