Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
