Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just gift wrapped bread.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
