I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
