is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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