Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Quick, to the slutcave!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
