i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
