my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
