I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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