You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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