Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
