I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
