I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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