Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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