i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
