is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
