Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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