I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
