He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
