all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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