Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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