my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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