my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
