does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
