My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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