omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
