did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
