end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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