Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
