yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
ttyl tear gas
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Damn victory sex feels great
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
