The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
