Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize