I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
